After all of this time...

I can't believe I still miss you.

Remember

Remember when you included me anything?
Remember when you gave a damn?
Remember when you made an effort?
Remember when we were friends?

Im starting to forget.
but maybe that's better for me.
Maybe that's what is meant to be.
Oh God please help me...

I will never be THAT girl.

I will never be the girl that stands out in a crowd.

I will never be the first one to make a joke or to make small talk with you.

I am not one with witty, funny comments that can make anyone smile.

I can’t break tension or awkwardness with simple conversation.

I can’t confront someone without feeling uneasy and I can’t strike up a conversation without feeling uncomfortable.

I fantasize about saying all of the right things and about making tons of friends, but I know that isn’t and never will be me.

I hold onto people I love for too long and always expect them to do the same with me.

I don’t walk into a room and brighten it up

My smile doesn’t seem sincere enough to brighten someone’s day.

I cannot fake a laugh, I cannot force a conversation, and I cannot hide my true feelings.

I can, though, give a smile no matter how I feel.

I never know the right things to say or the right questions to ask.

I seem to never make connections.

I have so much love to share, but no one to share it with.

I miss the people that I once called my friends…

The ones whom have become acquaintances

I wish it were as easy for me as it is for them…

I do not fit in with any crowd, no matter how much I would like too.

I will never be THAT girl.

I am not the girl next door.

I am not the bad girl either.

I am not the funny one.

I am not the smart one.

I am not the one that’s always happy.

I am not the one that anyone wants to BE.

I am not the girl that anyone asks questions about.

I am the one that’s easily forgot.

I don’t know where I belong.

Does anyone ever wonder about me?

Do you ever wonder if I am okay?

Do you wonder if I think of you?

Do you ever wonder if I am happy?

Do you ever wonder where I am?

I am behind them… In the background, wishing I was a part of crowd.

I guess if you really thought about me, you would contact me, right?

Nothing feels the same…

Things that I thought would last forever, didn’t.

It’s hard to fight on my own.

It’s hard to try when I am the only one…

It’s hard to walk away when it’s something I have never done.

What have I done wrong?