A Parentless Child

I know that I need to write because I have been so stressed out. I don't know what it is, but lately I have really been longing for some parental love. It sucks that most of my friends have their parents to fall back on if they need to. I mean I am sooo happy for them that they have it, but it makes me long for it even more. I feel like noone understands how I feel and the one person that would understand isn't in my life any more. Ive felt so torn by this lately. It sucks because there is nothing that I can do about this except for accept that this is how my life was meant to be. I know that I would be a completely different person if I did have parents that were there for me, but it would be nice to know how it feels to have their support. Its depressing really, when I call my mom and she ignores my calls and never calls me back. Or when she says that she will come and see me and never does. And wtf am I the one making all of the effort to see her? She should be trying to spend time with ME. She's the parent! Gosh I wish that someone understood me and what I am going through :( This shit is just so difficult... And my father, well he doesn't even try to contact me! And I have no way of contacting him... the last time I heard from him was probably January of this year and it was just him cussing me out on my voicemail because I didnt answer the phone... Wtf?
   I just feel like they don't care enough to see me or contact me. I feel like they arent proud of me and my accomplishments... I am so emotional over this shit...